the initiator in friendships

In general, it's very hard for me to leave friendships. However, I do find myself to be the one initiating a lot of the meet ups or calls for many of my group of friendships.

I have this proven for quite a while as I stop initiating meet ups or video calls during this quarantine. So far for the groups that I usually initiate, we haven't video call for quite some time. I don't know if I'm just the one that puts in this effort without realising and do my friends realise that I am the one doing this?

I googled up on this and in reddit there were some people talking about this. It's normal that if you want to keep the friendship going, you should put in the effort to keep up to initiate the meetings. But some also mentioned that if nobody in the friendship initiates, that friendship will be lost in the long run.

I do realise sometimes some of my friends initiate them but for now, the few friendships that I have, I always seem to be the one initiating. So I just want to lay low and see if people really care about these friendships. It's tiring sometimes to be the one initiating all the time (and emotionally draining). Is it selfish of me to think this way?

Of course, it doesn't harm me for initiating these meet ups but it makes me question, are my friends equally invested in the friendship like I am? Who am I to judge, but oh wells, if they really find me important in their life, they will contact me. I shall just wait and see who are really my true friends. :'\